Dec 20, 2021
This week we're chatting about how to change your belief patterns and I share tools that helped me and my clients build belief systems that help us thrive.
Creating separation between harmful thoughts and you:
“I'm thinking the thought that I’m not good enough at this thing and that I can’t do it”
Use the 4 questions of Byron Katie:
1. Is this thought true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. What are the results when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Visualization:
How do I want to be two years from now?
Write yourself a letter from the future you to the present you, explaining from their perspective: How you got to where you wanted to go, what you did, what you believed on purpose.
What does it feel like to be that person? What does your day look like? How you hold yourself? What are your habits? How do you react to obstacles in the way of maintaining those habits? What are your beliefs?
Plan and create the world around you. Try on the new thoughts like a new outfit. Practice the thoughts and beliefs, ask questions that will allow your prefrontal cortex to come up with answers and back up the belief and identity. At the same time hold compassion for future you and resist perfectionist expectations.
For example:
Why am I a good mom?
Why am I such a good friend?
What makes me really good at my job?
How do I show up for the person I'm becoming and am?
Comfort the resistance to a new path: “hey brain, I know you’re scared and uncomfortable, it’s going to be just fine, you will survive this discomfort”
What are you truly unwilling to feel?
What would that feeling really feel like and how long would it really last?
Shame:
Recognize it and understand it’s triggers.
Reality check that you’re human and it’s a normal human emotion that all of us feel sometimes.
Reality check the messages and expectations that are driving you to shame. Perfectionism leaves a wake of shame.
Reach out and connect, speak the shame with a friend who has earned the trust to hear it.
Engage with empathy and compassion for the circumstances that are driving the shame. Look at them with warmth. You are only human.
My Calendly: https://calendly.com/anesthesiamomblog/stethoscopes-to-swaddles-consultation?month=2021-12
My website: https://www.stethoscopestoswaddles.com/
The Stethoscopes to Swaddles Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/shiro.njoroge2
Atlas of the Heart: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399592555?ref=exp_stethoscopes.to.swaddles_dp_vv_d
Squid Game on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81040344